sabato 28 gennaio 2017

Common galactic ways of saying



A cousin of mine on Mishinta 16 believes that, since you're about to enter Orbit, you should better know some of the most common galactic ways of saying, so...

“my ears spaghettized listening to you”
used in Zofran systems to refer to especially boring, or interesting, conversations

“it's like you were born on Phrobe!”
same as “you just can't stay still”, normally referred to very lively children or mitosis in the Boron systems (Phrobe is a famous party planet of the Boron confederation, orbiting around a micro-couple of high-frequency black holes. Gravity surges are so frenzied that it's impossible to stay still, you just have to “Phrob”, “jump” endlessly)

“do not joke with Gravity!”
used for good reasons in every system, every galaxy.

“it's harder to go ahead than to go backward”
used in the other half of the galaxy in a specular way. As known even to the street-level sentient creature, right now your Galaxy is spinning around its nucleus at a speed of several kilometres per second. As such, when you travel according to the rotation, it always takes longer to cover the same distance than when you travel in the opposite sense. That's because in the former case your destination is moving away from you, in the latter it's moving toward you.
Obviously, in the other half of the Galaxy the saying is the opposite. All pilots know this.

“going to and fro saves no time”
Loth corollary of the previous way of saying, unfortunately valid in the whole galaxy in the same way, as Admirals know very well.

“die like a human”
it seems that this comes from some pandimensional culture, 
and I believe that humans say  “die like a rat”.
It means being trapped, prisoners of yourselves on a peripheral planet, with no other pastime than bombing or starving one another and poisoning your only living habitat. Many species in the Galaxy placed bets on you humans. You could really avoid dying like humans on your planet! I mean, I don't believe it at all, indeed I placed my bet against you, but “at the top” they seem to believe it, and my job is to tell you that it's possible.

To understand the cartoon you have to know very well this episode of the Human history:

With indescribable joy and unequanimal Friendship, I pay the Galactic Council's respects to your honorable species.

The aspiring novice aspirant:
Cisa Kardashev Von Litus
Mishinta 16
(Ursa Major)
-..   -../'''-..._...-'''\..-   ..-

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