sabato 28 gennaio 2017

Common galactic ways of saying

A cousin of mine on Mishinta 16 believes that, since you're about to enter Orbit, you should better know some of the most common galactic ways of saying, so...

“my ears spaghettized listening to you”
used in Zofran systems to refer to especially boring, or interesting, conversations

“it's like you were born on Phrobe!”
same as “you just can't stay still”, normally referred to very lively children or mitosis in the Boron systems (Phrobe is a famous party planet of the Boron confederation, orbiting around a micro-couple of high-frequency black holes. Gravity surges are so frenzied that it's impossible to stay still, you just have to “Phrob”, “jump” endlessly)

“do not joke with Gravity!”
used for good reasons in every system, every galaxy.

“it's harder to go ahead than to go backward”
used in the other half of the galaxy in a specular way. As known even to the street-level sentient creature, right now your Galaxy is spinning around its nucleus at a speed of several kilometres per second. As such, when you travel according to the rotation, it always takes longer to cover the same distance than when you travel in the opposite sense. That's because in the former case your destination is moving away from you, in the latter it's moving toward you.
Obviously, in the other half of the Galaxy the saying is the opposite. All pilots know this.

“going to and fro saves no time”
Loth corollary of the previous way of saying, unfortunately valid in the whole galaxy in the same way, as Admirals know very well.

“die like a human”
it seems that this comes from some pandimensional culture, 
and I believe that humans say  “die like a rat”.
It means being trapped, prisoners of yourselves on a peripheral planet, with no other pastime than bombing or starving one another and poisoning your only living habitat. Many species in the Galaxy placed bets on you humans. You could really avoid dying like humans on your planet! I mean, I don't believe it at all, indeed I placed my bet against you, but “at the top” they seem to believe it, and my job is to tell you that it's possible.

To understand the cartoon you have to know very well this episode of the Human history:

With indescribable joy and unequanimal Friendship, I pay the Galactic Council's respects to your honorable species.

The aspiring novice aspirant:
Cisa Kardashev Von Litus
Mishinta 16
(Ursa Major)
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mercoledì 30 novembre 2016

Roma Est Tournament

ITA: Ammiragli, Piloti e Mozzi più o meno umani della Terra:
Finalmente apriamo il contest per il Veicolo Orbitale più bello, potente, efficiente, insomma "fico" che sia nato in battaglia, in Orbita terrestre,
durante Romaest in gioco del 5/11/2016,
Possono votare tutti (anche i mozzi che nulla sanno del gioco, semplicemente a "gusto")
votate con il nome della nave nel primo commento o con una emoticon e poi fateci 
saperè il perchè del vostro voto :)
Dietro ogni nave c'è una storia, lunga come una partita, fatta di gloria e strategia, colpi audaci e pesanti disfatte. "Non tutti i Piloti vivono abbastanza da diventare Ammiragli"

ENG: Admirals, Pilots and Hubs more or less human on Earth: 
Finally we open the contest for the most beautiful, powerful, efficient, eroic, in short "cool" ship that was born in battle, in Eart's Orbit, during Roma est in game,  11.5.2016
everyone can vote (even the hubs who know nothing of the game, just by "taste")
Rate with the name of the ship in your first comment or by emoticon,
 then let us know your reasons :)
There is a story behind every ship, as long as a game, made of glory and strategy, bold strokes and heavy defeats. "Not all Pilots live enough to became Admirals"
Do not forget to Like us on FB and follow on TWTTR
we are a real crowdfunding project. 
Help us to bring this "not only terrestrial" game on Earth:

special thanks to Leo Caviola
Make war only a game!
Keep care of your planet!,
Vote in comment and share now!
Kommander Sigir.

giovedì 3 novembre 2016

Things that may happen in a spaceport:

My cousin Frank, stopped by spaceport security on Betelgeuse 9 because he was eating a Terrestrial ice cream in front ot a terrorized Glad family.

Ljuk-4B had hidden in his suitcase the infamous jucca tarcan pie of his grandmother Gwendoline before departure, but the luggage was lost on a different flight. Before he was able to get it back, it had travelled so many parsecs at superluminal speed that the pie had long become a fossile.

"Careful with the Gate numbers" my husband's wife had said, and I hadn't considered that on Calidonia they are only written in Calidonian, a complex language in differential geometry.
 That's how you end up on the other side of the Galaxy, on a primitive planet of the Sol system, where the next flight is scheduled not before four local centuries!

NEVER use public toilets in a spaceport after a Flautolulian!

Kalima's docks, it is well known, are among the strangest spaceports, better avoided. The waiting room, for instance, is depressurised, to offend no one. Instead of cabinets in the luggage deposit there are mechano-quantum micro-black holes with great risk of space-time paradoxes. There are no security controls, but the red lights you see in the duty-free shops are gamma ray emitters (as long as you are able to see them, of course). At collection, luggage comes out on the tongue of a Sgulasch (a kind of local translucent elephantine slug), but that's not its mouth.

Dlin Dlon: "In Mandala system spaceports, as in any spaceport of the bellicose Grelum Consortium, as well, there are strict security controls upon arrival, including being dipped in acid at 400 C° or scanned with gamma radiations. We strongly suggest humans not to travel to Greluing systems. Bye, all the best."

Rep. By: Admiral Kroop

martedì 4 ottobre 2016


Ammiragli, Piloti e Mozzi Terrestri, qui è il Kommodoro che trasmette un annuncio speciale: nonostante gli impegni bellici sul fronte orientale del grande braccio di Orione non ci diano tregua ci troviamo di nuovo di passaggio sulla Terra.
Ad appena una settimana Bosoniana (circa 2 mesi terrestri) dall’ultimo contatto del terzo tipo sabato e domenica 5 e 6 Novembre  2016 alcuni nostri Grandi Ammiragli giocheranno con voi Terricoli a ROMA EST IN GIOCO.
presso il Centro Ricreativo Polifunzionale, via di torrenova 39a
(Roma, Italia, emisfero boreale, Terra, Sole) 
Non perdete l’occasione di provare il vostro valore in Orbita ed imparare un po di strategia e tattica Orbitali! Dopo l’evento premieremo online i Piloti autori dalle navi più belle e micidiali.
(P.S. attenzione, al tavolo saranno forse presenti Antichi Ammiragli del sistema Goth noti nella Galassia per essere senza pietà)
Like on Facebook                                                             Follow on twitter 
Kommodoro ReK.
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venerdì 30 settembre 2016

Do not joke with gravity.

 Tardonians, an ancient civilization who became extinct after experimenting on black holes, used to say, “gravity is unforgiving”, and in Orbit gravity is queen. This is the subject of this story, a story like many others, a tragedy that happens far too often in this kosmos, abandoning pilots in open space.
Since when Kolon arrived on the planet, this sad tragedy already happened several times in the Earth Orbit. This is why the
Intergalactic League for the Protection of Pilots Abandoned in Space (I.L.P.P.A.S.) decided to befriend you Terrans.

About the 99.999% of our clients gets disintegrated in the atmosphere of some remote planet, or frozen like a vacuum-sealed stockfish, but you can make a difference! Help us help the 0,001% survivors of deep space, subscribe the friendship program with a Like on our Facebook page or follow @kolongame , and share it with your human friends!

Ensign Sigir, Zeta Reticuli.              O.o

lunedì 5 settembre 2016

Good news Humans!

Ottime notizie umani!
questa settimana saremo a giocare sulla Terra!
this week we will be in play on Earth!
tre tra i nostri migliori Grandi Ammiragli sono di passaggio sulla Terra,
 non perdete l'occasione di sfidarli e di apprendere qualche 
trucco di strategia!
three of our best Great Admirals are passing on Earth, 
do not miss the chance to challenge them and to learn a few
 tricks of strategy!

con inequanime gioia:             with unequanimous joy:
il Guardiamarina Sigir            the Midshipman Sigir
Kolonisola 2016 è appena terminato, ecco i veicoli migliori,
 la migliore astronave può essere votata sulla nostra pagina Facebook:
Kolonisola 2016 has just finished, here are the best vehicles, 
the best spaceship can be voted on our Facebook page:

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