lunedì 14 agosto 2017

K-Isola 2017 Results


 The human thinking is so primitive that it is considered a contagious disease in some of the best Galaxies. This created several problems, especially while translating Kolon from Kalvokian to your languages.
The lack of tenses keeping into consideration time travel (such as anular progressive future or imperfect retroactive subjunctive) caused your planet to receive a simplified version of the most played game in this side of Laniakea. We trust that the evolution of your species will one day allow you access to the complete rules, stored near the center of your galaxy. There will come a day when there will be a day, but it is not today. In the meantime, we are honored to publish the first terrestrial scoreboard, valid for qualification to the great interstellar tournament held by Aldebaran Pilot Academy, bound to begin in a few terrestrial eons right next to your system. We hope you have not gone extinct by then.


Meanwhile, we greatly thank all human Ship’s Boys, Pilots, and Admirals who participated to the fights during the last local month in Earth orbit. The first six who qualified were rewarded with a visit to our underground base in the Adriatic Sea. Unfortunately, after the guided tour, which was very funny, we had to neuralize those humans (your level of primitive aggressiveness does not allow us to run any risk). So we hope you liked the tour, even though you can keep no memory of it. To you, the greatest and most honorable regards, from us and all sentient species of the Galactic Council. We spur you to keep following us, sharing and spreading our contents. We are trying in every way to make you evolve (not an easy task at all) but we cannot help you if you do not help us help you.

With great joy and immense compassion:
Sigir The Wise,
Betelgeuse 9
..-''\_!_/"-..
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lunedì 3 luglio 2017

KOLONIsola2017

Giunti alla terza edizione della nostra campagna terrestre di raffinamento, adattamento alla specie e sviluppo sui regolamenti avanzati. Diamo inizio al terzo Kolonisola terrestre.
I Mozzi, i signori Ammiragli e Piloti terrestri sono invitati a partecipare al Kolonisola 2017.
Gli scontri avranno inizio giovedì 27 luglio e procederanno in Agosto
Il primo appuntamento importante è venerdì/sabato 28/29 Luglio 2017 Le partite (fine al quadruplo set) saranno valide per il Ranking planetario ufficiale Piloti dell'Accedemia di Betelgeuse. Gli scontri avranno luogo di pomeriggio a S.Pietro frazione di Isola del Gran Sasso, provincia di Teramo, vicino l'ingresso ovest della base adriatica e parteciperanno Amici stranieri. Sarà offerto un apericena ai giocatori con rari arrosticini di gocquak bianco.
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Si raccomanda di presentarsi muniti del proprio asciugamano.
 :-----------------------:
se sei uno dei pochi fortunati umani ad aver ricevuto un invito come questo ti invitiamo personalmente e la tua partecipazione ci farebbe davvero piacere, segui le istruzioni nella mail.
Per tutti gli altri che avessero intenzione di partecipare e avessero bisogno di dettagli, alloggio, etc. siete pregati di mettervi in contatto subito all'indirizzo:
kolongame@gmail.com
grazie terrestri.
-K.ReK.-
,.-.._..-.,
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martedì 16 maggio 2017

Sometimes..

Liuthianians, otherwise called "Liutranians" or "Jatravarts", are a well known sentient specie diffused also in your Sagittariu's Arm. This sympathic and joyfull race is remembered notably for the fact to have invent the spray can before than the wheel
Cit. D.A.
°,,--\\___//--,,°
\:/
.:.

mercoledì 12 aprile 2017

Happy birthday Kolon on Earth!!!

Happy birthday Kolon on Earth!!! Like master Shaw would say, “Just another Orbit!”, but it's important, because one orbit after the landing we are still here thanks to you! The Human community of Koloners is growing, and an increasing number of humans have contacts of the third kind with the most amazing and entertaining game this side of Lainakea! All this is only possible thanks to you!
To celebrate with you, our dear Galactic friends, we decided to divulge on Earth the beginning of our educational program on Orbital Navigation. Today we start publishing the video tutorials you will need to move your first Orbital steps.
Kalima will lead you in the general introduction to the game. She is our skilled teacher for new Pilots. Later on, other specialists will help you face more advanced and complex stages of the game... but let's do one thing at a time. Most of you still cannot keep the alignment of a Sojuz, this is why today we introduce to you Kalima: 
For sure Kalima's teachings will be precious to those humans who want to finally take off from their little, peripheral planet, but there is nothing better than good old academical study to learn how to build solid and mighty ships. Straight from the Orbital Academy of Betelgeuse, here's for you the technical sheet of the Dragonfly, a smart vehicle from which you could take inspiration for your in-game creations... provided you are strong enough Admirals to maneuver such a ship!
Thanks a lot also to all humans who wanted to challenge orbital space during our last contact of the third kind on Earth, in Rome (Italy), in particular Silverclem, her brother (the one from Rigel), and most of all Admiral Karmelo and the Paradroid. All of them remarkable humans, deserving non-extinction.
Finally, an appeal: Humans, Koloners, wherever you are, don't give up, keep following us, supporting us, sharing the contents we are bringing to Earth for you, and make yourself heard on our social pages. This marvelous game is spreading on this planet only thanks to your Friendship and soon, very soon, it will be in your hands*. Dozens of Koloners are already about to receive their First Earth Edition Kopy, and we keep working like crazy for your Kopy to reach you soon! There are great news ahead. Thanks for all your support.

Kommodore ReK, Almaaz II

*..do you have hands, right?
,,#''\\__/W\__//''#,,
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lunedì 13 marzo 2017

K.ROME, Play live on Earth now!


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Humans from Earth, is a pleasure to announce you the next opportunity for play KOLON live on your planet! The contact (of the third kind) will be on March 19, in Rome (Italy, northern hemisphere, third planet from the star you call "Sol") in Via Vittorio Montiglio 18 at the table number 37!!! we wait you with best regards from all sentient species of the Galactic Council!!
Sign in here, humans!
Admirals or any Pilots are asked to greet martially, military operations in Earth's Orbit will start at 11:02  local A.M. 
and will continue "until the last human".
Following will be published accredited Pilots and  
the outstanding vehicles born ingame.
"../""-V-""\.."
"|"


martedì 28 febbraio 2017

Congratulations humans!

Admirals, Pilots and Ship's Boys of Earth, we have to congratulate with you. In spite
of your primitive instruments, every day you are able to discover new worlds in your
peripheral Galactic surroundings. Luckily for us, you still have no interstellar travel technology. After all, if you mean to ruin the planets in the Galaxy the way you are doing with your, so much the better that you don't!
Most people in the Galaxy believe that you do not deserve evolution, but we want to
teach you to pilot, navigate, mine, reproduce and fight on orbit. Not so much for the good of your own species as for our personal agenda that you would not understand.
And also because the Galactic Council pays us to.

You have no idea which and how many civilizations (at least twenty) watch your little juicy system. For more than 60 Earth years we have been strongly suggesting you to stop chirping about your presence in the Galaxy. The Council cannot be held responsible for the actions of the most external fringes and/or all the large wild empires of the Galactic borders, slackers that you are.

The Kosmos is an endless ocean and for sure you are not the biggest fish*.
*... you call the multicellular being flying in your “oceans” “fish”, right?

So stop immediately waging war to one another or starving one another and 
COME UP TO THE ORBIT!
The Council wants to send you KOLON, a psychosocial instrument. It's a fun game system through which you will evolve by learning the basics of orbital navigation while sitting comfortably around the table at your homes, and starting from your very own technological level.

Aside from important principles of Galactic “etiquette”, such as where to place forks
on a table set in the Dobran system. If you ever go to Dobra it's something you need to know, your life might depend on it. (Dobra hosts a little KOLON tournament and it is not far from you, there might be an UFO going there next Friday from New Delhi).

To improve your knowledge of orbital basics, the Pilot Academy of Betelgeuse is
sending you didactic material about KOLON used in the Kalvok system (sorry but translations are expensive). We believe it is too early for you, too few humans can pilot and these are double set ships, not for beginners for sure. Still we are sure that the Admirals on Earth, both humans and otherwise, will appreciate and remember the good old times on Betelgeuse... (… err... you did know, didn't you?) Here is a very good vehicle design for inspiration in your next fights, 
the Battleship Dobro Goran!
… wish we could have it in a fight...
It seems our Earth community is growing. The Council happily enjoys this. You should be happy too. Be happy! Soon there will be an important vote about you near Sgr-A, which might mean that soon a large number of prototype Kopies of a translation of KOLON for humans might be printed! It would be very important for us (and for your species) if you could show your desire to evolve and have fun by rewarding what we are doing for KOLON and for you with:
a "like" quot on our Facebook page
or by following us on Twitter
… and most of all, talk about it to your Friends, enlist and come play!
It's important for you the way you are important for us.

Our work for you is constant, human Friends. Unfortunately for you, our world is difficult to understand, but based on the great Friendship that joins us we will always come for encounters of the third kind on your planet. This is very important to keep refining the translation of KOLON from Kalvokian to Terrestrial. Last time it happened in
February in the south of Lazio, in Italy, on Earth, boreal hemisphere. We met a
couple dozens of humans and had fun around the tables in the afternoon.
So many New Earth Pilots! Welcome to the Galaxy, human Friends! :D
With the most obsequious homage and heartfelt wishes for a long and joyful
permanence in the cosmos as sentient and monolocated energetic beings from all the
intelligent species on the Galactic Council to your esteemed and honorable species.
Thanks.
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^